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| An Instagram shot of our wedding Invitations courtesy of Amanda's instagram! Invitation design by WhitneyCPBG |
Just a little peek at our invitations to get this Monday started...
On to the topic of plus ones...
You don't have millions of dollars,
and can't invite everyone to your wedding,
so what do you do about the issue of plus ones?
I feel like this may be the most awkward topic of conversation,
second to not having children at your wedding.
When Stephen and I started the planning process,
I originally wanted like 20 people at our wedding,
but Stephen has around 40 first cousins,
so that was obviously out of the question.
We agreed on a number of 80,
except somehow our current guest list has 105...
(side eye Stephen).
However,
with it being a destination wedding for a number of guests,
we will still probably land near the 80ish mark.
With Stephen's family being so big,
and us wanting a wedding on the smaller side,
(and not being made of money)
we really had to choose our guests carefully.
This is how Stephen and I have determined who can bring a plus one:
A. They are married or engaged (duh)
B. They have been living together and or have a child together
C. They have been dating a long time (at least a year) and either myself, Stephen, or both of us, know and have met the significant other.
D. They are traveling from the USA (I am obviously not going to tell my American friends they cannot bring a date when they are traveling across the world and spending a lot of money in the process).
This of course is always destined to create some sort of issue with someone who wants to bring a date.
I get it,
I know if I were invited to a wedding and Stephen was not,
I would be bummed,
but I also know the expense that goes into a wedding.
I think sometimes people only take into account the cost of the food as the only item the bride and groom pay per person.
Except, it is not just the food that costs money per individual.
In some cases,
the chair you are sitting on,
that pretty plate you are eating off of,
the cocktail glass you a drinking out of,
your individual menu,
place card,
place card holder,
napkin,
and drink your drinking...
are all costs that have been paid just for you.
That, along with many other items, are all things that add up; far exceeding the amount of just your meal.
And that is just a few examples.
I wish we could just say,
everyone is invited!
You can totally bring the guy you just met on the side of the road because he has sexy scruff and good height!
But we can't,
and to be honest,
when I look up from my meal at dinner,
I want to see the faces of those nearest and dearest to us.
Thoughts/stories about the plus ones?
Did you allow them?
Did you have certain stipulations like we do?
Did people not show up because they couldn't bring a date?
Did people show up with a date regardless of their names not being on the invite?
At our wedding, we invited my dad's cousin and his wife. They "wrote in" their adult son and brought him with. I thought that was an incredibly rude +1.
ReplyDeleteAh such a good topic!
ReplyDeleteA really good friend of mine is getting married soon and I don't know how to politely ask if I'm allowed to bring a plus one. Nearly everyone that will be in attendance is married, and she didn't do inner addressed envelopes that would typically spell out whether or not a guest is ok.... I totally see where you are coming from about not letting people bring one though.. Great post!
I followed a rule similar to yours. If one of our guests had a significant other, they were invited. If the guest was single, they were invited as a single person. There's no sense in having them scrounge up a date that we didn't even know just for the sake of bringing a date. It went over just fine - no issues (at least they didn't say it to my face :))
ReplyDeleteamen to this. have a very single friend who was upset about it, even though i knew she would just end up bringing her roommate!
DeleteWe didn't have many plus one issues, though my sister did at her wedding. A family member of her fiancé wrote in dates for their teenagers. I think they received a phone call from the groom.
ReplyDeleteseriously, prettiest wedding invites ever. the envelope is STUNNING.
ReplyDeleteplus ones. they're weird. we had one show up that wasn't even invited which is weird... i don't know, i go with your rules. i think they're good.
omg gurl, preaching to the choir! i too wanted a small wedding, with like, 50 people (i'm an only child and my whole family is 5 people big), but Kyle's family sounds similar to Stephen's (fun fact: kyle's middle name is stephen...spelled the same and everything!), so now we're sendign STD's to 97 people. And even THAT was a compromise. Oy.
ReplyDeleteoh, and not only are we limiting plus one's, but absolutely ZERO children. Nary a flower girl in the whole wedding. And perhaps this is just a sign of what a huge capital B-word I am, but I don't even care how it comes across. Like you said, it's effing expensive to have ANY wedding, let alone a large one. besides, why do people even want to go to your wedding if they don't know you well? I've been date to a few weddings like that and they are just not fun for the plus one!
also, LOVE the invites! we just got our STDs (you know I mean save the dates, right?!) and are about to start working on the invites!
CupcakesOMG!
I think that was a great way to decide who to invite. But we got a lot of people who either didn't RSVP or who wrote in people... like my mom's cousin's daughter's boyfriend!
ReplyDeleteWe got engaged in May 2012 and are sending out the invitations in April 2013. If our friend wasn't with his/her current partner when we got engaged, s/he doesn't get a plus one! It might sound harsh, but you're right - you have to draw the line somewhere or it can get totally out of control.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you've got a good system going! I like to think that people understand that the bride and groom can't invite everyone, so hopefully there won't be any hard feelings!
ReplyDeleteIt's a tricky subject! Because I really don't think a lot of people understand the cost of the plus ones. I was annoyed for my wedding (but got over it) because both of my maid of honours weren't dating anyone but insisted on bringing a guest. I didn't get it, because they were sitting at the head table with me anyways! We also had one woman who we didn't give a date to as she is a widow and not dating anyone and then she specifically asked if she was allowed a date...awkward!
ReplyDeleteWe want/are having a small wedding. We decided to allow +1's if they are married/engaged/living together or if they have been in a relationship for at least one year. We are also putting the name of the +1 on the envelope (not just "and guest" or something) so that a random person doesn't end up coming.
ReplyDeleteLauren
http://choosingjoy7.blogspot.com/
if we hadn't met them and it wasn'tserious they didn't make the list--that was our general rule. and i am not sure it went down well with everyone but we already had over 90 people at our wedding so...
ReplyDeletethe worst +1 situation we had was with one of my bridesmaids. we asked her whether she wanted her bf there {she was 18 at the time} and she said no, so i said ok well he can come as a night guest and she was fine with that.
cue three days before the wedding and she got her mum to ring and ask whether her bf could come and could we just ring up the venue. ummm how about no. i think they forgot that everything had been done, seating plan, place cards, wedding favours...so we had to say no as there wasn't a chair for him, it was so awkward.
no way! three days before!? Some people just dont think things through sometimes
DeleteTricky subject! I've been going back and forth on this for a while for my august wedding. I actually think I am going to let everyone bring a +1, even if they are single and aren't dating anyone. I know it's going to cost alot more and I do want to look up from my table and see only the faces of people I know....but I also want my guests to be happy, and if bringing some complete stranger makes them a happier guest...than I'll be a happier bride. Right? I think I'm right anyways. Hummmm....more pondering on this subject.
ReplyDeletewww.jaxandmarbles.blogspot.com
Sexy scruff and good height are really the only reasons I'd wanna bring Ben to a wedding, so this makes sense.
ReplyDeletejokingggg.
We let mostly everyone have a plus one but most of our college friends (read: guys) were all "I don't want a girl I have feelings for hold me back! let's get shitfaced!" so we ended up with a good number. I think your plus one requirements are fair and if people really care about you and Stephen, they'll come whether they get a plus one or not.
Your rules are perfect. We had a strict no kids rule and wouldn't you know there were still kids. This was horrible because then the people that followed the rules were all emotional because they wanted their kids there. The plus ones were mapped out as well. If I didn't know you you weren't coming to the wedding bottom line. There were still people there I didn't know and it didn't end up making a difference. You definitely care before the wedding, but once it's all said and done you're like 'whatever people'.
ReplyDeleteI would definitely care if there were kids there...only because of the atmosphere we are trying to have..but i would probably be like you if some randoms showed up that i didnt know...i probably would be too caught up to even notice..except it would be super awkward if there wasnt a placecard or seat for them...which is what would happen
DeleteI will preface this comment with that I am a 20-something, single, female whom has never planned a wedding and probably won't for years to come. HOWEVER, I am a girl of simplicity and intimacy and my most favorite weddings I've attended was where I knew BOTH the bride and groom, I knew more than just the person I came with, and it was a giant party where everyone was included and had a chance to talk to the lovely couple for more than just a receiving line. With all this being said you go girl for sticking to your guns and keeping a small wedding, it's hard to really have the closeness people want with over 100 people (not to mention the cost!). People who really love you and care for you will understand, and others will have to get over it, plus I imagine as you said the destination wedding definitely helps narrow the guest list.
ReplyDeletewe used the same general guidelines you used. It was hard, but we wanted a ceremony that was filled with family and close friends - so the random girl (or boy) someone wanted to bring juuuuust because didn't cut it with me. Plus it wasn't like our friends don't know each other, so if that person was coming solo, it's not like they wouldn't have someone to talk to or party with. Also going along with this we decided to let people choose where they wanted to sit, that way it didn't turn into awkward "singles" and "couples" tables.
ReplyDeleteI got to 40 first cousins and had a seizure.
ReplyDeleteWe had similar rules for +1. Our wedding was only 75 people, so we had to be very careful with guests too. We wanted a small personal wedding filled with those who love us. I think the best way to handle it- address the invite to the people invited and hopefully they get the hint- ie no you can't bring your grown so, his name is not on the invite!
ReplyDeleteAnd when you start getting reply cards then you can deal with it. Maybe some people you thought were coming for sure can't now. And then you have nothing to worry about. The worst is when you have people RSVP and then they don't come. It's just money down the drain- food cost, chair cost, escort card cost, etc.
I think that's a perfect solution. I don't want people I don't really know coming with someone I invited and having to pay for all of it. Loooooooove your invites!
ReplyDeleteI think that's more than fair and I believe more people will be understanding about it than you think. With bride and grooms paying for the expense of their own wedding rather than the bride's parents these days...rules are changing! A lot of the previous "wedding etiquette" is thrown out the window (and there is nothing wrong with that).
ReplyDeleteMy husband has a huge family. We originally were going to get married in Seattle where he is from and we both live now, but when his guest list jumped to OVER 200, I said screw it, moved the wedding up 4 months and changed it to the east coast in NY (where I'm from). We had about 65 people make it. It was perfect :)
Most of our guests are married (lots of family). So for the FEW (i'm talking maybe 3) guests without serious significant others, we're allowing a plus one. It just didn't make much sense not to. But any more than that... i'd probably cut them out.
ReplyDeleteI think that's totally fair. I've been to weddings where the invitation specifically is addressed to me and my boyfriend (in which case I bring him...) or if he's not on the invitation, I assume he's not invited, which is fine. I went to a wedding last year where the invitation was only addressed to me, but the bride called me a week later to say she was also extending the invitation to my boyfriend. It seems like you're being pretty clear, and that's the way to go!
ReplyDeleteI think there are just so many people that are unaware of the "names on the invite" etiquette. to be honest I was even unaware of this until planning the wedding this time. *hangsheadinshame*
DeleteWe didn't specify anything about plus-ones and we didn't do RSVPs. We had a handful of dates neither of us knew personally, but it wasn't a big deal. That said, our wedding was much more relaxed than I think you're planning- we had barbecue (as in, meat smoked in barbecue sauce, not just food cooked on a grill) and a ton of sides as a buffet and didn't worry about a seating chart. We were able to float and mingle, and our guests were as well. I think we sent out about 180 invites (I made them myself- being an art major has its benefits!) and ended up with just a bit fewer guests. I was told that if you don't do RSVPs it's a good estimate to expect the # of guests to match the # of invites sent, since one invite usually means two people and about half the invited can't make it.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I know you've got a lot more tricky situations having a transcontinental wedding, especially if you're helping reserve rooms for a lot more out-of-town guests! So I think your rules are appropriate and fair.
The wedding I was in last summer -- only wedding party, married/engaged, all that other stuff you listed got the option for a +1. Honestly, I don't know why anyone would want to bring a date unless it was their longterm bf, baby daddy/mama, fiance, husband/wife... Dancing, booze, and men in suits? I'd rather be stag...at least at the beginning of the night.
ReplyDeleteMy current plan for my future wedding is to have around 30 guests (and their plus ones) at the ceremony and formal sit down dinner and then invite 100+ to the reception for drinks and extremely light snacks. Best of both worlds. Or I'll just run off to Vegas.
Your invitations are awesome, by the way. Love the RSVP card.
I know we e-mailed each other about this one awhile back already, but I'm glad you posted this. :)
ReplyDeleteI think your rules are perfect, I would only add that the wedding party (even if single) should be invited with a date if they want to bring on. Just with the money/time/energy they spent on your big day, I think it's a nice gesture.
ReplyDeleteWe had a similar situation with the size of our guest list slowing increasing over time until what was originally going to be a small wedding was up to 120 guests! But we still only ended up with about 80 or so actually coming (and just gifts from the rest!!) so it worked out really well. I don't remember thinking too much about plus ones. I think most of our family members clearly had spouses who were invited. We didn't invite any teenagers. And with our closest friends, they all had significant others who would have met your criteria so they were assumed to be invited. There were a couple of work friends who brought dates that I didn't necessarily anticipate, but with people not coming, it didn't really create any problems. And we didn't do fancy place cards and things like that, so it wasn't as stressful figuring all of that out. We just needed to make sure we had enough chairs, tables, and food!
ReplyDeleteI am obsessed with your invites. OBSESSED. And funny story: I once accidentally took a plus one to a wedding when I wasn't supposed to. I now feel really bad about it, but we had been together such a long time that I just assumed I got to take him. Oopsie.
ReplyDeleteInvites are gorgeous! Small world- my work bff is getting married in County Down next month.
ReplyDeleteha no way!!! that is crazy!
Deletei think this makes sense! it's a little weird to pay for someone who has been only dating someone for a few months. i've gone to weddings where this was the situation and i don't think there were hard feelings. you have to cut it off somewhere. good luck! i'll be dealing with the whole guest list situation real soon too - argh!
ReplyDelete-- jackiejade.blogspot.com
We followed the whole +1 thing like you did- living together, engaged, met both, etc. We addressed each envelope to the person that was invited (not "and guest"). Had we put "and guest" on all the single people's envelopes it would have been an extra 20 people (although I get it, they're in their late 20's, early 30's... they want to bring a date to a wedding). We ended up having 3 people that wrote in their name +1 on the response card!!! I could not believe it! My mom made a good point and said, "if it enhances their experience at the wedding, then let them bring them." That was way more gracious statement than what came out of my mouth about it! One of the 3 +1's didn't come (we knew ahead of time, so we didn't pay for them), but 2 of them brought their dates- it was very weird being introduced to them at MY wedding... "Hi, nice to meet you, welcome to the most important/happiest day in my life."
ReplyDeletehahaha..your last line. SO true. how strange. Your mom sounds so gracious ;) I agree with it to some extent, but at the same time, the day isnt exactly about them. ugh i dunno! i have a hard time with wanting to just please my guests, and wanting to make the day about S and I and not pay an extra $500+ for someone i dont know.
DeleteWe pretty much followed the same rules you guys did. We had a small wedding and only invited the significant others we had already met!
ReplyDeleteYour invitations are gorgeous, btw!
Honestly, it's your day, and as wonderful and lovely as it would be to invite everyone and their second cousin's aunt's grandma's brother, it's just not reasonable.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your day!
And i love the invitations :) So classy!
when my best friend got married, i was the only person that was not married/together for a long time that was allowed to bring a plus one. but they had met him before and really like him. i will be following the same rule as you since i really want to keep it under 100, the less the better. but zac and i both have big families and a lot of family friends. maybe we will have to do a destination wedding and get to get rid of some of them.
ReplyDeletenot many of my friends are married, but i'm kinda glad they didn't do plus ones because that would have entailed me having to do some sort of drastic measures like renting a date (although The Wedding Date is an awesome movie and maybe just maybe my rented date would turn into the love of my life) but I think you're A-D list is great. If they're in a serious relationship/dating for a long time should be the minimum for bring a date.
ReplyDeleteOh man, we've been struggling with this one, too. I might have to steal your criteria.
ReplyDeleteWe definitely didn't let everyone bring a plus one. We decided that we would only invite their date if we knew them well, they had been dating awhile (ie not just a little random fling), or they wouldn't know anyone else at the wedding. It worked out pretty well!
ReplyDeleteWe allowed plus ones for everyone but also told our single friends that there were other singles coming.
ReplyDeleteI am really glad you don't just have the living together/engaged group though. I think it's very considerate to invite plus ones for people who have been dating a long time even if they aren't engaged yet. Thanks on behalf of many of my friends. :)
Good luck with the plus one list. I think people are very understanding for the most part though! Every extra head is a good deal more expensive.
Stephen and i were cautious about our single friends and made sure that there would be other single friends that THEY knew who were also invited and coming as single. We definitely dont want anyone to feel left out or awkward. As you get into your late twenties and wedding plans it is more likely the majority of your guests will be married or engaged, so i definitely want to be cautious that we dont have like one or two singles and not let them bring a date. thats wouldnt seem nice.
DeleteWe ran into this problem too! I'm from the USA and Stephen {ph as well ha} is from the UK. We got married in the States and now we live in the UK..so glad I stumbled across your blog ...On to the question now, we followed pretty much the same guidelines as you and I think it's very reasonable. Weddings are very expensive and anyone who has been through it will totally understand. We did have some distant family who wanted to bring their children but at the end of the day we {my parents} just had to politely say no. Is your day after all and hopefully they'll understand the reasoning.
ReplyDeleteHappy planning!
www.abrewofblessings.com
I am not married, but I am in three weddings this summer. I am MOH in one in which the bride and groom (both grad students) are paying for everything. A group of the bride's girlfriends (including myself) are not bringing guests. We know how expensive the festivities are, and fingers crossed your guests do too. It's always an awk moment though.
ReplyDeleteI actually prefer to not bring a plus one, especially if it's someone that I'm going to have to introduce over and over. It's much more fun going to a wedding with a group of people who are not bringing plus ones (or everyone knows their plus one). And at the end of the day, it's your wedding, so your guests should respect that (of course, as long as you're not asking something extreme like, everyone must dress up like a Lolita Harajuku girl).
ReplyDeleteMost beautiful invites!!! I'm not kidding- I'm going to frame it :)
ReplyDeleteI just can't wait till this is us. And I can exclude boyfriends/girlfriends that I don't particularly love. Like hey, that obnoxious comment you made at dinner the other night totally got you left out of the plus one club, good job! Not that I would do that or anything... cough.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! This was an interesting topic...not for us...but for others around us. We made it very clear that there would be no children and no plus ones. We are keeping our guest list to 90. We used pretty much the same guidelines as you both did, but I received an RSVP back from someone who was neither married, engaged nor was she dating anyone and although the invitation was addressed to her alone...she somehow wrote 3 on the card. So I had to make a very polite phone call to clarify her RSVP. Her response was "Oh, my daughter has never seen a wedding and I'm bringing my cousin also!" I was flabbergasted! I informed her (again) that we were not in a position to extend extra invites and that we choose to only have people that we personally know at the reception. It was an awkward telephone call but very necessary. At the end, the situation was cleared up, but I really wish people would be more courteous of the bride and groom's wishes.
ReplyDeletestop it. that is so crazy!!
DeleteO.m.g. I'm experiencing this crap right now lol. I'm getting married March 30th (yikes), and have kind of been a douche lord in not inviting any plus ones. The people that are having someone come with them are married. We are having kids (3 total - all over 1 and super chill)My fiance and I are paying for everything ourselves, and realized, by happy accident, that it is Easter weekend so I'm hoping like half won't show up. I wanted 20-30 people tops, small and intimate, and we just got done addressing our invites this weekend and are at 60 people. Between his mom and my mom wanting to invite family and letting them have plus ones that I've never met, after dating 5 years, we came to a compromise -- the family can come, plus ones cannot. Meanwhile just my mom's immediate family is about 80 people -- if I can downsize that to 10 people to come, then she should be able to downsize her family. We're doing southern buffet, no seating chart, and aren't having alcohol -- but still, as two 20somethings paying for the whole thing, I'm really hoping all these randoms don't show up. My fear is being introduced to all these strangers on an intimate and special day of our life. Annoying.
ReplyDeleteIt's also whack when you have to invite family that you don't get along with or particularly have a relationship with, just based on the principle that they're your family.
you are not a deuche lord! haha. You are realistic. and omg on the family you dont get along with thing. i know. Stephen and I and his mom were just having this conversation today.
DeleteI am nowhere near getting married, but with a giant catholic family I have been dreading the plus-one issue for years. I'm glad you're talking about this Megan!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, thinking about my future wedding gives me hives. I just know it is going to be a giant event completely the opposite of what I would like, and I have no choice in the matter, lest I offend one of my millions of relatives (and god forbid I actually have some friends there!)
Now could we just talk about my fears of marrying another catholic, meaning that our guest list would START at 200, if his family is anything like mine?!
ELOPE. ;)
DeleteOk, now I feel bad...I was a bridesmaid in a friends wedding in July 2010...it was a very small wedding (80 ppl) and my parents and younger brother (who have also known the bride since she was two!) weren't invited in addition to a lot of other long time family friends. I had just started dating someone and casually said that "I was going to San Diego next month for my best friends wedding" and he was like "I wanna go!" - so he came with me to SD, but did not come to the wedding until after dinner (with another girls BF who was not invited). This was all fine considering he came bearing expensive tequila to share with all the men folk...
ReplyDeleteMy best friends brother was getting married in October 2010 and when I got the invite (with my name only) - I asked if I could bring XXX. They said "of course" and as far as I know there were no hard feelings...considering it was a destination wedding a lot of people who were invited didn't make it so I'm sure they had space to fill, but I'm guessing I failed the "wedding etiquette test" on this one....oops!
oh dont even worry. you are not even close to having bad etiquette. people do much much worse.
Deletei've honestly been learning so much through this series. I never realized those fine details that go into the pricing. Dang. I personally am at the point where if said husband entered my life I'd want a closed off family dinner and open reception where more can come but just know that there wont be a main meal or anything. I think that is reasonable and i did have a friend who did that but then again I'm single and not in any type of christian mingle (haha) so who knows what I truly think about it personally ya kno?
ReplyDeleteBut I think the way you are choosing to do things is classy and assertive which is the way I would prefer it. Your making your WEDDING guidelines clear because it is YOUR wedding and letting people know exactly what that entails and I just adore that because sometimes people will send the invite without anything stating whether you can bring a guest or not and its like "well do I call? or facebook...? or showup at their job???" haha
Anyways, I'm ending my novel with the conclusion that this was very eye opening to the financial burden a +1 is and also that realistically small wedding girls are looking for a close family and friend gathering and we/they deserve to set barriers to keep that in place and I really respect and agree with the way your choosing to go about things.
and the INVITATIONS ARE RIDICULOUSLY GOOD LOOKING!!!! :)
oh man, things like this stress me ouuuuuuut. Which is why we had a huge 400 person party of a wedding, so no one felt too left out. AND we still had wedding crashers.
ReplyDeleteAnd now that we're on the topic of wedding crashers...what if they brought their own chair? and wine? and plate. from oregon.
ya know. just hypothetically speaking of course:-) xoxo
I like that you laid out clear lines ahead of time. I didn't really think about it that much when address invitations. Our wedding was also small and when we made the list, I included anyone's +1 that we knew was in the picture/serious. For a few adult cousins, the invitation was sent to the whole family (being that some were still in colleget, etc) and I didn't include +1's for them. I received a couple of emails in advance of their RSVP asking if so and so could bring a date and really, by that time, we knew our numbers were down so I didn't mind. If we had been scrunched for space, I would have said no.
ReplyDeleteI love that I am living through your wedding planning and getting tips on how to do mine, when it happens. I do not want children at mine, I want it on the smaller side, and people have to travel. But I am drawing the line at having it in Norway, it will just be so much easier to have it in California. Anyways I think your rules about who gets a plus one are perfect! -Heidi http://fabricandfrosting.blogspot.no/
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I had the idea that we just wanted to see people we knew at our wedding, no strangers! So for the +1 issue we followed the rule of only spouses, fiances and longer than 1 year serious and stable relationships. Some people did asked me if they could bring "a date" (random stranger they just met) and I explained to them that we wanted them to have fun but we were on a tight budget, and that there would meet my other single friends at the wedding to dance with, luckily that is what happened and friends from high school ended dancing/flirting with friends from uni. Also, some friends' new boyfriends/dates showed up after the dinner just for the dancing part of the wedding, I did not know that was going to happen but we did not care, it did not cause any extra expense. I learned most people are very understanding when you mention the word "budget".
ReplyDeleteits true. people have become much more understanding. but then there are always those that think the wedding is about them and forget.
DeleteIt's really surprising to me how many people don't know the "names on the invite" rule. My guy got a wedding invite in the mail. We'd been together a little over a year and I'd never met the couple and the wedding was a 6 hour drive away. He asked if I wanted to go. I was shocked and couldn't believe that they'd invite me. Turns out they didn't, I wasn't on the invite. He just figured that a date was always implied! You have to draw the line someplace and your true friends will understand.
ReplyDeletemultiple silly boys brought dates without telling me and gave me a heart attack the day before the wedding because we ran out of rented chairs. honestly, I dont even remember what happened because at that point I decided to be in "give me champagne, its time to celebrate and I don't care about anymore details!" mode.
ReplyDeleteHope no one pulls shinanagins like that on you, but if they do, in the end it won't be a big deal! (:
Your invites are so pretty! Personally I hope I'm a millionaire by the time I get married, but save for that ridiculously unattainable situation, I think you've got a good system down. Someone is always going to get upset at some part of the planning process and if you don't stick to your guns (and your vision) about what your wedding should be like it could be you. So I think your handling this sticky issue so tactfully by inviting those significant others who are not only important to the person you have invited, but important to you as well. Plus you're having a small wedding, so it is only logical that people understand that not EVERYONE is being invited and if they can't bring a guest it isn't personal.
ReplyDelete