Last Day

one of my favorite photos of us from 2012

Today is our last day in the USA,

and coincidentally,

the last day of 2012.

This is the longest I have been home since I moved to the UK,

almost three years ago.

I have been home twice before this trip,

for around two week stints,

and each time at the end of my stay,

I was sad to leave,

but ready to get back to my normal day to day life in the UK.

This trip...

this trip is different.

I am not ready to leave.

I want to stay.

I want to see more of my friends,

spend more time with my family,

be able to text and talk on the phone without worrying about cost and time difference.

I want to continue to be warmer,

drive a car,

eat good food,

and have anxiety at the grocery store because there are just so many choices.

2012 had so many amazing moments,

like getting engaged to my best friend (the highlight),

traveling to Italy and Amsterdam,
meeting up with new bffs in Edinburgh

vacationing in Maui,

etc. etc.

But 2012 also had some horribly challenging moments,

that have left me still reeling a little.

But those horrific moments have given me a brand new perspective on life,

on family,

friends,

community,

and home.

This trip to the US has been a very big eye-opener for Stephen and I...

and we are leaving with a new found hope

and mission.

I am so excited for what 2013 is going to bring.

I mean,

I already know the month of June is going to be pretty awesome ;)

Happy New Year Everyone,

and THANK YOU

for spending moments of your 2012 reading this little space.

I am so grateful.

Some highlights to come in 2013:
Images from my California Bridal Shower
Images from our Engagement shoot
Speaking in Berlin
Our wedding

A Glimpse in Black and White

we got new PJs for Christmas.

I got a free Wells Fargo calendar when I went to the bank,

so I obviously wrapped it up and gave it to Shane as a Christmas gift,

this was his reaction:

 He loved it.

This was probably one of the best Christmases I have ever had.

After certain events over the course of the past couple of years,
especially the most recent tragedy in Newtown,
I have become increasingly better at being more grateful for what I have,
and cherishing each and every moment.

Little things haven't bothered me the way the used to...
(except for when I almost drop kicked the people at the movie theaters for carding me...until I realized I DID have my I.D on me, then I apologised for saying "are you freaking kidding me?!" and shamefully walked away...)
I am trying to be better,
and live better...
It's a work in progress...

This Christmas,
Stephen and I woke up early to get a start on dinner/lunch,
we cooked a turkey,
stuffing,
mashed potatoes,
cranberry sauce,
gravy,
mac n cheese,
green beans,
brussel sprouts,
and biscuits.

Stephen made a four tier chocolate cake the day before,
then my mom asked if she could keep him here...
It probably wouldn't even matter if I was here too or not.

We opened gifts,
laughed,
then ate until we couldn't eat anymore.

Later that evening we went to the fancy movie theater
and saw "This is 40"
which was HILARIOUS.
(Les Mis was sold out...fret not..we are seeing it today...I could hear your gasps)


Being home this year with Stephen was by far the greatest gift I could have received...
I mean,
the music video alone was worth the trip.

(I obviously had to plug that one more time..sorry).

Hope you all enjoyed the holidays!
Roll on 2013!

b&w dress c/o delahook

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Our Family Video

Christmas card shmishmus card...
here is our family christmas video.

Since I was home this year,

and my brother and I were overdue for another music video,

we decided it would be a good idea to record and create a christmas music video...

in honor of the holidays and all that.

We spent two days recording our vocals..

I should preface by saying I cannot sing.
(this will be made clear to you in a moment)

Shane can actually sing really well.

However,

because of my inability to sing on key,

Shane was forced to re-record in a vocal range similar to mine...

sorry.

A special thanks to my mom for really bringing her A game,

 to Stephen for playing along with my insane family,

and to my mom's best friend,

who was working at my mom's house the day we were filming,

and got sucked in. 

Happy Holidays friends...

enjoy.

Holiday Outfit plus some other random information

blouse: Zara  | Coat: c/o Marc Cain| Pants: H&M (old) : Bracelets: Poshlocket, Marc Cain c/o | purse: Marc Cain | Earrings: gift from my mom

I clearly have a thing for neutrals.

When the fashion industry this year said winter white was cool,

and you could wear it after labor day,

I was probably the most excited person out there.

This would probably be a holiday party outfit for me.

I am not a huge dress person,

don't get me wrong,

I love me a pretty dress to wear,

but I will always be more comfortable in pants and a blouse,

or even a skirt and blouse.

In other festive related news,

Stephen is going to Vegas today...

without me.

My best friend's husband

(who also happens to be our wedding photographer...story on that to come later)

and my little brother,

decided it would be fun to take Stephen to Vegas for a little bachelor party.

I don't know whether to be really excited for Stephen,

since it is one of the few places he has ever mentioned a real desire to see,

or incredibly worried.

I mean,

It's Vegas.

It's just for the night,

and I've already started the "talking myself down from an irrational paranoid ledge"

process.

Wish me luck with that.

And last,

you may have seen on instagram or twitter,

that my brother and I have composed and created a holiday music video...

keep a look out for that gem tomorrow.

*linking up with my sweet friend Michaela for her holiday apparel link up!

What I Wore-My Birthday

blouse c/o PB-J Shop | Blazer c/o Marc Cain | earrings: borrowed from my mom

When I arrived in California,

this blouse was waiting for me.

I am pretty sure there isn't a top in the world that is more me,

collared,

lace,

cream,

flowy,

hi, that's half my wardrobe right there,

except

I was missing a blouse that encompassed all of those in one.

Problem solved.

This pale pink blazer was also waiting for me from Marc Cain,

a store I will finally get to experience in person for the first time in Berlin in May.

On my birthday I wanted to feel extra girly to counteract the fact that I was now in my late twenties,
and more woman than girly...
or so they say.

but I still wanted to wear what I love most...

collared shirts and blazers..
like you didn't already know...

On Family

I love seeing my family with Stephen.

When everything went down a couple years ago with my ex and I,

I knew it would be difficult to bring someone new into the fold.

They had spent five years getting used to someone,

and watched the whole thing crumble.

 I knew they could possibly be more guarded when I met someone else,

especially when that someone else would be keeping their daughter/sister away from them for longer than they had expected.

AND imagine the worry when they couldn't even meet that person in real life,

and I was dropping everything (jobs, friends, family, weather) to be with him.

Looking back,

I am pretty amazed by my little family.

Sure my mom expressed a little concern,
Shane had his reservations,

friends said I was going too fast,

but in hindsight,

they really handled things with a lot of grace and support.

Then they met Stephen,

and they saw us interact,

and it only took 5 seconds for them to get on board wholeheartedly.

Seeing Shane and Stephen play for hours in the ocean,

just the two of them,

or S and my mom have a cup of coffee together in the mornings before Shane and I are up...
Sometimes S will stay downstairs at night to have a glass of wine with my mom while I head to bed.

It all just sort of melts my heart for so many reasons.

They constantly affirm him and tell him how much they love him,

how they are so excited for our wedding,

how they are so happy for us...
They make sure he is well fed, taken care of, comfortable, happy...

it just really makes me appreciate this family I have all the more.

I am really lucky and thankful.

Words

I have all of these posts in my drafts...

posts about family, friends, a random outfit post,

you know,

the usual stuff.

I had a post for today talking about my amazing family,

but every time I go to edit it,

I start thinking of Newtown, Connecticut.

I am always thinking about Newtown.

Now in every draft I say something about Newtown first,

but it just doesn't seem like enough.

I don't think a few words, a blog post, a prayer, a tweet,

will ever be enough.

The fact that tragedies like this keep happening in this beautiful nation,

shows that we are just not doing enough.

But what is enough?

I certainly don't have the answers.

Most of us don't.

We all have our own political beliefs,

our own set of opinions,

our own specializations, careers, qualifications, personal experiences that lead us to rally behind a certain cause,

but in the end we are all looking for the same thing...

a solution...

answers...

grappling to find hope in a seemingly hopeless situation.

I want to be honest on this space,

I am scared.

I cried all day on friday.

I am not a mother,

I did not lose a child,

and I did not personally experience the horror that took place,

and yet I cried all day, like most of america.

My heart ached for each loss.

My stomach hurt for every life taken too soon,

for the pure and innocent children who will never grow up to experience the beautiful parts of life,

or their parents who will never watch them go through the journey.

I am afraid to have children.

I am scared to bring them into a world I am unsure of,

a world where there is evil,

where they could experience levels of pain that are not of the norm.

I am afraid to have a child that contributes to the evil.

I don't talk faith much on this blog,

if ever,

but

I believe in God.

I have read the bible cover to cover.

I know the scriptures.

I lived by Joshua 1:9

but I don't think that there is anything that can bring a sense of comfort in the aftermath of this tragedy.

I believe in the goodness of people.

I believe in our nation even when something as big as friday tells me to believe in everything BUT my nation.

I  believe in humanity.

I know, that in spite of every act of evil,

there is also so much good,

like the teachers who sacrificed their lives to protect their children that day.

Heroes.

I can believe in all of the above and more,

and I do,

but it still does not relieve the uneasy feeling I have about bringing another life into this world,

where they could be shot in their school,

or get a terminal illness,

or have a mental illness,

or hurt someone else,

or.

or.

or.

It is a lot to wrap my mind around,

and I can usually logically work through any situation.

There is just so much uncertainty,

and there isn't a single person that can say otherwise.

All we can do is hope,
love,
and attempt to alter ourselves for the better.

My thoughts, prayers, and love are with all affected by the tragedy in Newtown.

Bridal Shower Day

Today is my Bridal Shower in Santa Barbara.

I had a post ready to go yesterday,
but it felt so wrong to blog,
tweet,
fb,
or instagram about anything else
after hearing of yesterday's tragedy in Connecticut.

I cried throughout the entire day,
and am still reeling.
I have become all the more grateful for my loved ones,
family,
and my dear friends that I get to hug tight today...
sweet friends who have flown to California just for this shower.

It is unfortunate that is takes such a horrific event to give people a little life perspective,
but I can only hope we learn to love bigger and better,
it is the only long-term thing we can do along with offering up our prayers for the people affected.

I want to live in the moment today,

and show the people who are most important to me how grateful I am for them.

You can follow us all along on instagram,

using the hashtag #megsbs2

Maui-What and Where (A little Guide for Traveling to Maui)

We are home in LA now,
and this is the last Maui post
(I am sure you all are devastated).

Someone in the comments asked for more information on Maui.

And since I have been enough,

and feel pretty confident,

here is my little travelers guide to Maui.

Where we stayed:

  The Fairmont Kea Lani 

My brother found an amazing deal on one of their suites so grabbed it.

We all shared a suite

(we are not heavy rollers, people)

Myself, Stephen and Shane shared a room,
there were two queen beds in it.

And my mom slept in the other room on a pull out couch.

The bathroom was massive,

rooms were huge,

two big flat screens,

it was more than enough space and the only time we were in the room was to sleep and shower.

It's a great way to save a little cash to do some other fun things like jet ski, eat at the breakfast buffet etc.

Also I highly recommend, and I doubt anyone who knows here will argue with me,

 the Grand Wailea .

Probably the best hotel on the strip because of their awesome pool.

We have stayed here many times as well,

and it is amazing.

Both of these hotels do not come cheap,

but you can always find deals,

especially in the off season.

You can also check hotels on the Kaanapali side of the island,

which we have stayed in as well.

Out of the two sides,

I think we prefer the Wailea end.

Where we ate:

Mamma's fish house

This is the.best.place.ever

Authentic, fresh, amazing quality Hawaiin food.

But don't go in wanting to eat somewhere cheap,

this place comes with a hefty price tag so I recommend it as a one day splurge for those traveling on a budget.

The menu is changed daily according to what is caught fresh that morning.

It is a must experience type of place.

In Lahaina (shane is a creep)

Kimos
It's a family ritual to eat here.
It was my dads fav while we were growing up
(he has like two t-shirts from this place)
and now a friend of Shane's works there.
It is right on the water with amazing views.
It is located in Lahaina town,
where you can do some shopping,
book some activities for cheaper than you would through a hotel,
and eat at some great places,
or...
if you are feeling crazy,
get your hair braided in cornrows and get a henna tattoo.

Nick's Fishmarket at the Fairmont
This restaurant is located at our hotel,
and really really good.

Ko
This is a fine dining restaurant at the Fairmont.
It is really well known
and offers the only cuisine inspired by Maui's sugarcane plantation era.

Monkey Pod
In Wailea,
this is a much more relaxed and fun restaurant.
Yummy fresh fish tacos.

Cheeseburgers in Paradise
Also in Wailea,
a good place to have an affordable meal,
and especially great if you like good burgers,
or just eating a giant plate of chili cheese fries for dinner...
not that I did that or anything...

*We also ate a lot just at our hotel, because it's convenient. Mango smoothies? yes please.
We had brunch every morning at the hotel...because Shane and I live for breakfast buffets.

What we did:
I recommend going into Lahaina Town (link above) to book some fun excursions like zip lining etc,
or of course your hotel will send you in the right, more expensive, direction.

Jet Skiing:
We have been to the same company twice now for jet skiing.
They are awesome.
I rode on the back of Stephen's,
and screamed out of fear in his ear the entire time.
They will take pictures of you for $30.00
worth it.

Snorkeling:
Before you do anything else, rent snorkeling gear.
We usually rent from Boss Frogs because it's like 5 bucks for a week,
but because it's on the other side of the island (Kaanapali)
we rented from Maui Dive Shop in Wailea.

black rock

Black Rock:
Awesome beach and spot for snorkeling.
We snorkel here every time we come to Maui.

hana

Road to Hana
We have done this drive one too many times (and once is definitely enough).
But if it is your first time to Maui, I HIGHLY recommend doing this journey.
It is a great way to see the island,
get out of the resort for a day,
and really get the full scope of what this island has to offer.
It is a full day trip (about 7 hour drive total if you go the whole way)
but you stop along the way and jump off of waterfall's cliffs,
hike through bamboo and rain forests,
eat at the original spot where banana bread was first made,
see black and red sand beaches, etc etc.
Get the CD (from your hotel) and it will guide you the whole way.
Sounds cheesy,
but it is definitely not.


Kayaking:
This is the second time we have kayaked.
You can rent them from your hotel beach for like an hour.
It's a fun way to break up the whole baking in the sun thing.

Luau:
Such a fun family activity,
or even a romantic one for the couples
(especially the newleywed couple who was wasted and danced on stage our last time there..they had fun I think)
It always takes place at sunset on a location that overlooks the water.
Big dinner buffet,
open bar,
fun entertainment.
I recommend experiencing at least one.
Your hotel will usually provide a free shuttle service to a luau if it is held at a different hotel.

Whale Watching:
We have done this in the past,
and it is super fun for like the first hour,
and then you're kind over it.

There is obviously also surfing, sunset cruises, boogie boarding (we rented two of these along with the snorkel equipment) etc.
I am more of a lay on the beach and poolside while I sip my mai tai or lava flow kinda gal,
but to each their own.

Hope this information helps you plan your future trip to hawaii!

Mahalo.

I Dare You....

Shane (my lil bro) and I like to embarrass each other whenever we can.

So Shane dared me to get my hair braided in corn rows
(like all the little girls do while in maui)
beads and all.
I agreed...
as long as he got a henna tattoo of two dolphins kissing, in a heart shape, in the middle of his chest.
As long as I had these braids in my hair,
he had to have his shirt off so people could see his super awesome henna tat.

The result:

I have since taken the braids out
(those things HURT)
but Shane's henna tattoo has only gotten darker and darker with each passing day.

I win.

Hawaii Highlights V3

shane likes this picture because he thinks it looks like he just planted a bomb and is walking away like a badass. his words. not mine.

*We went to a Luau,

so that Stephen could experience some typical Hawaiian food, music, and entertainment,
and there was an open bar and dinner buffet.
so.
There's that.

*My family has a problem with taking all of the free towels by the pool.
Not taking as in stealing and putting them in our suitcases or anything,
(but if our suitcases were bigger we probably would)
but like taking and using at the pool,
or beach,
or in the room,
or if we are going somewhere,
or if we are just walking by the table full of towels...
we just keep taking the towels...
because they are there.
We have 18 towels in our room right now.
18.towels.
Housekeeping loves us.

*I haven't gone on a morning run since our second day here.
So everything is back to normal.
We can all stop panicking now.

Hawaii Highlights V2

black rock

it's kinda hard to tell we are related....

*I have never been boogie boarding before.

(I know...and I call myself a southern californian..i should be ashamed)

The waves sort of scare me.

However, the waves in Maui were super mild,

and I was still high on jetlag and sunshine,

so I was all,

heck ya lets kayak and boogie board...

I AM SO FUN.

So I went out..

Shane showed me what to do

(because it's obviously pretty complicated...)

I got on the board,

the wave approached,

and i went with it...

then immediately was upside down under water and DIEING.

*I have an awesome tan line across my cheek from falling asleep in the sun

*There is no taming my hair (if you couldn't tell..)

*Stephen does not leave the water. He is in heaven. And then i got nervous because I lost track of him while out snorkeling and made Shane go and find him. I worry for my future self as a mother.

Today's Highlights

You can't tell, but he kinda likes it here

typical 

todays highlights:

I went on a run/power walk (mostly power walk) with my mom at 6am this morning. Lest you think this is the norm for me, I havent exercised in over two years (thank you scotland weather) or seen any hour before 11am willingly in forever. It's amazing what a giant dose of jetlag will do for you.

Stephen snorkeled for the first time ever. It was the cutest thing when he asked me how to do it.

Shane showed Stephen how to body surf, then they got pummeled by a wave.

I had to pee but refused to walk up to the bathrooms, so I sat on a rock near the ocean and peed. Resourceful. 

Shane and Stephen buried me in the sand and made me a mermaid..with boobs and nipples. It was the nat geo version.

Maui- We are here

fresh off the plane, Maui Margarita in hand, no makeup (obviously)

It has been about six years since I have been to Maui,

but stepping off the plane I felt this surreal familiarity...

Like I had arrived home.

Some of my fondest memories have taken place on this island.

I basically grew up coming here,

my first time in utero,

then again at 3 years old,

again at 5 with my little brother who was only 1,

and almost every summer until my early teens.

A lot of families usually have their special holiday spot,

Maui was ours.

I have been here with family,

and some of my best friends.

I even had a short term summer love start on this island when I was 19,

and now I get to bring the love of my life here, newly engaged.

Seeing hawaii through his eyes for the very first time has made it even all the more magical.

Needless to say,

Maui is very special to me,

and I feel really fortunate to be here...

so thanks little brother, 

for gifting all of us with this amazing trip.

I am glad you have forgiven me for dressing you up as a girl for the first 5 years of your life.

Happy Birthday to Me

Hello Dolly blouse c/o PB&J Shop

I am 27 today!

I am so excited to say goodbye to 26,
even though the more into the late twenties I get,
the more I hear my eggs yelling to fertilize them.

This is the first birthday,
in three years,
that I have been able to spend at home in LA with my family.
I didn't want a party,
I didn't want gifts,
(ok I did ask for a couple small things)
I just wanted to be at my moms,
in LA,
with my little brother and Stephen.

I feel pretty content.

Bring it on 27.