There have been three people who I have known in my life who have either attempted, or committed suicide.
One of them is my dad.
My dad attempted suicide eight years ago.
I was on my way home from church one evening with my neighbor,
when he got a phone call from his brother saying my dad was being taken out of my house by a team of paramedics and police.
My mom and little brother, who was 14 at the time, were home when it happened.
I won’t go into the details of what happened that night,
but that night changed my family’s lives forever.
My dad was a successful writer/producer for television sitcoms.
He is incredibly intelligent,
and very funny.
He used to have a lot of friends,
and a beautiful family.
He now spends the majority of his time alone.
My dad has never been well emotionally.
He has suffered from mental illness the majority of his life.
He has struggled with suicidal ideation since I was a little girl.
I know this because I found a suicide note on our family computer when I was 13 years old.
Suicide is something he continues to struggle with and threaten on a daily basis.
Mental illness compiled with other factors,
has made my at one time “normal” father,
into a very different human being.
I have never spoken much of my dad before on this blog,
and there is a lot more to this story.
However, this week is national suicide prevention week,
and yesterday was world suicide prevention day,
and I felt like now was the time to say something in hopes maybe it made one person feel less alone.
Suicide is a topic that I’m sure makes many people uncomfortable.
As I write this post, I feel an uneasiness in my stomach,
a nervous vulnerability that I have never felt before here on this blog.
It is one of those things, like mental illness, that you just don’t really talk about...
It is riddled with stigma and taboos that only spur on the problem.
Suicide is reality for a lot of people...
It is reality for my family.
It was reality for two people I knew growing up,
who took their own lives at a young age.
It is reality for their families and friends who will forever mourn their loss and wonder if they could have saved them.
“You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.” -To write love on her arms (one of my favorite organizations)
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