Ahnika and I are best friends for multiple reasons..
1. she sends me bomb care packages
2. she demonstrates, via skype, the positions her vag waxer makes her get into
and 3. she tells me about what to expect from breastfeeding with inverted nipples
(book illustrations included)
Her "first" had me laughing out loud.
i want to begin by saying that megan specifically asked me to write about this topic...
there is a first time for everything, right?
gassing in front of your boyfriend is no exception to this rule.
grant and i had been dating almost a year when he flew out from boston to santa barbara to visit me during summer break.
we hadn't dropped the L bomb,
we could make out for hours,
and my face was fuller.
flatulence had been avoided at all costs up to this point and i had no intention of changing that.
but on special occasions,
the body forgets your preferences and speaks for itself.
we were in the room that grant was using and my sister and i started to wrestle.
girls wrestling? that's weird.
yeah, it was.
grant was there being entertained by the strange faux-fight taking place,
and the room was by no means large.
a silent burst of warm air leaped out of my backside.
surely my sister would know my crime in a matter of seconds.
would she ignore it?
it could not be ignored.
the pungent smell creeped into her nostrils with such a fire that she couldn't help but scream,
"OH GROSS!! AHN YOU FARTED."
it was an SBD* of epic proportions.
there was no hiding from it.
i was outed and forever lost in my shame.
for who could ever learn to love a beast?
as it turned out, grant could.
we've been married 3.5 yrs and made a baby (albeit still in my womb) together.
the gassing goes on,
but it's a two way street.
and it makes us laugh (and occasionally cry) a lot.
*when i told megs and stephen this story over skype i had to explain to stephen that SBD means Silent But Deadly...foreigners
just a couple of kids reclining on some tree roots in the summer of 2005
do yourself a favor and check out her blog here