Part 2...dun dun duuunnn

After our very first lecture as grad students,
where I met all of my course mates for the first time,
Stephen left and returned to his dorm.
He confided in his close friend that there was an American girl in his program..
and he would of been interested...(obviously I just recently found this information out)
but..

this American girl was married.

bummer.

Therefore,
Stephen and I would barely speak for the first half of my year in Nottingham.
to be honest, I kinda didn't notice him much...
which is funny considering he is 6'4...
but it could also be because I rarely went to lectures because it was too cold outside..

But I digress.

For some of you, this might be information you didn't know.
(the whole marriage part..)
For others who have been here awhile, you already knew this, and were either wondering quietly and respectfully if I would mention this..
or maybe thinking/hoping I would just leave that part out.

I said in this post that I would never mention the divorce on my blog again..
but for the sake of this story..
in order to really tell this tale..

It’s going to have to be mentioned again.
And I'm okay with that..

because this story is a testament to second chances, 

to maintaining integrity, 

to healthy separations, 

to honesty,

to selflessness,

to keeping friendship through difficult circumstances, 

to love, kindness,
and most of all, 

to believing that you deserve the best in this one life you are given.

I came to England to try and fix my broken marriage.
It was a battle that had, in reality, already been lost..
but we agreed to give it one final go.

I could go into the logistics of our separation..
the final months and hours of our decision to part ways..
the tears we shed as we hugged and said encouraging things to each other..
knowing that it would be the last time we would see the other after five years together..
I could tell you about his move to live with his new girlfriend,
and my move into the post grad dorms..
his eventual move back to America..
and my decision to stick with my grad program and stay in England..
I could mention how we are still good friends,
supportive of each other and our new found relationships (yes, both of us started dating and moved on at the same time..and are still with that person that we moved on with..)

I could tell you how divorce doesn't mean death..
how it doesn't have to mean people hate each other,

or cheated on each other,

or abused one another,

It doesn't have to mean there is no forgiveness,

no grace,

no love.

I could even say that divorce can bring life..
and new love.

I could tell you all of those things..
but would it matter?
would it make you believe me?

Judge me less?

Like me more?
I don’t know.

All I know is that this is a testament to second chances...

and that is something to talk about..

that is the happy story I will tell.

Part III