You asked...I answered...6 months later...

Hey friends.

I have missed you.

My absence will be explained in a later post.

Because its really boring.

It involves neurosciency stuff.

Do you all remember awhile back when I posted a vlog and had you ask me questions?

And then i got like 30 questions and posted a vlog and answered like 3..

then sorta stopped...

Well i thought maybe it is time to answer some of the questions 

since there are a few i still frequently get here and there.

Most of the questions had to due with the whole modeling thing.

So here it goes.

Your own personal tour into my past life.

I started modeling at age 14.

I knew someone that knew someone that knew someone in the industry.

I went on a casting (audition for modeling)

and booked a job.

After that I got an Agency.

Then after that i switched and got another Agency.

and after that I got my first complex.

It came tied up in a little box and bow.

It was a body image complex.

My complex said I was too fat,

too skinny,

too short,

and probably could use some plastic surgery.

It became my new bff that i wanted to drop kick

but couldn't..

because I'm a lady.

So i hung out with her anyway.

I continued to work in LA and Orange County.

mainly print and editorial stuff.

A billboard, commercial, and music video here and there.

After 8 years of trying to fit into someones size 0 expectations

I decided it was time to call it quits.

Move on.

go back to college.

get a real job.

Not that modeling isn't a real job..

I guess it is.

Sometimes you can model so hard your face hurts.

intense.

I know.

I do not work anymore..

except for as a favor to friends with companies..

or for fun with the photographers I love.

Someone asked me if I felt judged because I used to model..

because the connotation is that models are dumb and shallow.

And to be honest,

yes.

Which is why I always wanted to have something else that I did.

And why I continued to stay in academics..

and eventually moved on to get my Masters in Neuroscience.

I wanted to help change the world in a positive way.

Not contribute to it in a negative way.

I Love photography.

I love art.

And i think beautiful images are created using beautiful people.

And I am drawn to that.

But i am much too sensitive to fight for the limelight in a world full of "beautiful" models.

And i need to be using my brain to make me feel like i have a purpose.

19 years old

17 years old

20 years old

19 years old